What Will I Learn From This Deck Study?

Today is officially the first day of my year-long deck relationship with the Tarot of the Master. I wanted to keep the first reading simple. I wanted to know, in a single card, what I was going to learn from this study.

My intention was to draw cards until I hit the first Major, which would be my answer. But the first card I drew was a female Court card, and the second card was a Major, so I included both of them.

First up, Regina di Spada. I am so not like this woman, though at times I'd like to be. While she has her faults (yes, that is a human head in the sack she carries, while the bloody decapitated body lies in the tent behind her), she also has her virtues. She is strong and determined, and she doesn't let anyone take advantage of her. She knows exactly what she wants, and she gets it. She is confident, bold, and sure of herself. It appears as though this deck study will give me additional confidence as a reader. I will be less likely to second guess myself when what I see in the cards either doesn't seem to make sense at the moment, or seems out of left field. I will be more sure of what my instincts are telling me, and I won't be as shy about putting it all out there.

Next, L'Impeso. I quite like the fact that the keyword on the side of this card is "Agony", as it seems much more realistic than the more gentle RWS meaning. Hanging upside down by your ankles might be fun for a few seconds. But being stuck there indefinitely would indeed be pure agony. All that blood rushing to your head. I remember once when a magician was going to hang upside down for a period of time (either David Blaine or Criss Angel), and the commentator mentioned that one of the dangers was the potential of going blind.

The feeling of being stuck anywhere is hell, but doing it suspended upside down just puts it over the edge of torture really. Does this mean that my year with this deck will be torture? Uh, I would say no, because I'm not being held at gunpoint to continue. However, I think at times I can expect it to be uncomfortable, and I can only assume I will be tempted many times to give up. Tying myself to this deck for an entire year, like the man tied up in this card, will challenge and test me in more ways than one, I'm guessing. And it won't always be pretty. As L'Impeso hangs upside down, his inverted point of view also tells me that I will inevitably begin to see things in the cards in new and different ways, which was one of my goals with this project.

I deliberately chose a deck that predates the RWS system, so I could push past my comfort zone and move away from the limited, pre-set meanings of the cards that I can't help but see in the RWS themed decks.

Regina di Spada and L'Impeso show me that this commitment won't always be a walk in the park, but in the end, I will be a stronger reader for it.

~Kiki